I discovered a small church near my hometown run by the priests of the Institute of Christ the King Sovereign Priest. Now, you're thinking, another organization that I've never heard of and aren't all priests the same? For the most part, priests have similar duties and responsibilities, but there is something beautifully unique and wonderful about this particular organization. They, like many priests, celebrate Mass and hear Confession as well as tend to their congregation. Priests of Institute of Christ the King Sovereign Priest, however, celebrate Mass in what's known as the Traditional Latin Rite or the Tridentine Mass.
Now, I'm going to start nerding out. Prior to Vatican II, the Catholic Mass was celebrated in Latin and in a completely different style than what most Catholics are used to now. For one thing, the entirety of the Mass is said in Latin and many of the responses are different. The style of the mass is different, the way the readings are done is different, the liturgical calendar does not follow the same calendar that's used today in most Catholic Churches around the world. And one of the most interesting parts of the Mass and perhaps the most identifying feature of this Latin Mass is the fact that the priest and congregation face the same direction, so it appears as if the priest's back is turned to the rest of the church
Okay, but what does this have to do with being brave?
The thing with traditional Latin mass is that they are, well traditional. Women are asked to dress modestly and in true Catholic form, many women—especially in this particular oratorio—cover their hair with a veil. Now veiling at Mass has been a particular personal challenge of mine in the past year or two. It's something I've always thought was very beautiful in practice but because no one does it any more, I didn't want to draw attention to myself by sitting in a pew and being the only young woman with her head covered by a pretty piece of lace. I'll get into the details of what veiling is and why we do it in a later post, but essentially, I was afraid and I didn't have a veil.
Cue Ms. Wilson of Veils by Lily, a generous, invigorating Catholic woman who's made it her life mission to spread the knowledge of veiling and the practice of it as well as create all of the veils she sells by hand for women of all ages, all senses of style and all walks of life. She gave me this beautiful veil and for weeks, I held on to it because I did not have the courage to wear it in any sort of setting. Finding out about this Mass, where veiling was normal and accepted, was like a ticket in and an excuse to wear it. So, finally, after months of contemplation and making lists of pros and cons and also making up a million and one excuses not to go, I worked up the courage.
I snuck into the church during their Thursday night Holy Hour and decided to put on the veil right before I walked into church. I sat in the last possible pew in this teeny tiny oratorio and couldn't look up for approximately five minutes, I was so nervous. Finally, I snuck a look around and realized that no one cared what I was doing and I was the only one acting as if something bizarre was going on. In reality, I would have been the odd one out if I wasn't covering my veil and that relaxed me a lot!
And so, my heart was really happy. All because I worked up the courage to humble myself. All in all, it was the most freeing experience of my year thus far. A friend told me that it's funny that something society deems so restrictive as modesty can sometimes be so unburdening. And to this day, when I put on the veil (six months later), I am definitely free.
