A Housewarming

Apparently, this does not mean that you light a bunch of Yankee Candles and have at the hors d'ouvre and booze.

I went to a cousin's housewarming today. He and his wife have always been such a wonderful part of our family. One of my favorite parts, actually. Because despite the large age gap (approximately twenty years, give or take), he and his wife have always been there for us. Whether it meant playing stupid child games to keep us entertained or remembering us on Christmas, they were there, every year without fail and they still are.

They welcomed us into their new home.

I think that's what housewarmings are for. They bring warmth into a house. And not just any kind of warmth--they bring family, friends and laughter. There were tons of kids running around and laughing, throwing balloons at each other, playing on the grass--it's like a breaking in of sorts. And underneath all the new furniture, the meticulously cooked meals and detailed color scheme and food labeling, the desire to welcome flowed unabashedly, as if that was the entire point.

And who am I kidding?

It was.

Because it wasn't about showing off their brand new house or their furniture or the renovations and new coats of paint. They wanted to share a milestone with us. They wanted to share with us their home. And they wanted us to be a part of it. Their home. Our home.

Home.

"Sunflowers," a poem

Sometimes, I don't even have to close my eyes
to remember.
And then it feels like just yesterday
when our fingers locked like our lips did
in a warm embrace that could have
or should have
lasted forever.

But it wasn't yesterday, or even last month.
In fact, I can't even remember the last time
my skin brushed yours
or that I glanced at your face in the three-dimensional world
rather than in the black and white or color options
which is crazy because back then
I couldn't go a day without loving you

and now it's been a few years
that I have not loved you
and have not loved at all, not because I'm bitter
but because I admit that I'm afraid
of the sunflowers that I drive by
because I can see you among them like I used to
and then I don't know why my heart skips a beat--
in love or fear or anger--
and I find that I shake my head only to realize
that you're still in my heart.

With eyes wide open
I stare at the sunflowers, their faces reaching
towards the sun
and realize that is the direction I face also
face to the sun, back to the shadow
and only you can tell me where you stand.

But I will keep walking.

Something About This Place

"Home is where the heart is."

Right?

Well, I think it's partially right. The sentence say something like "My bed is where the heart is" because that's exactly how I feel. Not that being home isn't nice, that's not what I'm saying at all. I'm saying there's something to be said about a bed.

For example, I live in an absolutely beautiful suburban neighborhood, tree-lined streets and all and driving down the street and seeing the trees beginning to change color always elicits feelings of such contentment that I can hardly put them into words. But backing into my driveway (because my family doesn't park forwards) does the same thing. As does seeing the garage door open and my mom at the foot of the stairs. But nothing--nothing--is ever really truly home until I've dropped my bags onto my squishy carpet and have popped-a-squat into my bed.

That's when it's the real deal.

And I don't think it's the quilt or the pillows or anything physical about it. I think it's just the feeling of sleeping in the same exact bed that I've slept in for about 15 years... it brings a sense of comfort with it. I am quite a small person (5' 2") and the beds at universities are generally "twin extra long" and my bed at home is child-sized (though my dream is to have a king sized bed and just disappear into it every night. Fantastic, I know). And it has memory foam on top of it. And I can cocoon myself into my blankets. And I have a lampshade next to my bed with a nightstand. And even though my room at home is smaller...

It's all mine. And sitting in quiet is entirely possible.

College isn't quiet.

Thank you, Novo Nordisk!

Novo Nordisk, a corporation which specializes in dealing with diabetes and other blood disorders, puts out a scholarship every year through the Independent College Fund of New Jersey (ICFNJ) for any student who is looking to do research on these topics throughout their college career and is intending to dedicate their future careers in this field.

Being a nursing major, I totally though "Well, obviously!" Considering that majority of patients usually have multiple comorbidities--that means that they have another condition in addition to the one they entered the hospital or doctor's office with that could make their current condition worse/better depending on the comorbidity.

I applied for the scholarship and they chose me as one of the four recipients!

So thank you, Novo Nordisk. Corporations like yours are what build the future.

<3