Sometimes, God speaks to you.
Most of the time, He doesn't and you're kind of, sort of just left wondering how things came to be. It's really a fascinating turn of events, quite honestly, and one that I learned at the Augustine Institute's 2012 College Student Summit. In a past post about the Summit, I spoke about a lot of the things that I did there, including the classes, speakers, people and how unwilling I was to be an attendee in the first place. What I neglected to tell you about, however, was the turn of events that resulted from my attending and meeting all these wonderful people. And what came from this experience that I was so against in the first place is: Mustard Seeds.
Even though I was in the Rocky Mountains and had altitude sickness pretty much the entire time (for which the only cure is really drinking water and I am a small person who greatly dislikes water), I got a lot out of the lectures and class time and even the alone time we had in nature. It was wonderful not having my computer, being beholden to my phone, or even having to answer phone calls, texts and e-mails about things that I didn't want to deal with at the moment. It gave me a break from reality, and I really appreciated that. This experience, however, was supposed to allow me to discover something of myself that I could bring back to my college campus. And I discovered two things:
(1) I'm scared
(2) I'm really a lot more afraid than I thought
I came back with the Mustard Seed project--a fellowship group formed by my college that focuses on teaching and learning through friendship and fun (right up my alley, I know)! But what I'm so afraid of is that with my own insecurities... will I even be able to help people see past theirs? And will I be able to deal with my fear so that it doesn't interfere?
Food for thought, definitely.
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